Why Do We Think We Have to Earn Food?

The other day I heard someone say they needed to "earn" their food.

A few months ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. I probably would've agreed, maybe even said the same thing. That's how most of us were taught to think: if you work out hard, you can eat more; if you eat too much, you'd better "burn it off."

Nobody ever questioned it.

But now, as I move away from the whole diet-culture way of thinking, I find myself asking why. Why do we believe we have to earn something our bodies literally need to stay alive?

Where Did That Idea Even Come From?

I used to tell myself I had to do a certain amount of cardio, or hit a target number of workouts, before I could have dessert or an extra helping. And I honestly believed that was normal, like being "good" with food was some kind of achievement.

But when I step back and really think about it, it's strange.
Food isn't a reward. It's not a transaction. It's… food.

And yet, somehow, so many of us, especially women, carry around this belief that we have to earn it. Somewhere along the way, we learned to see food through the lens of guilt and compensation instead of care and trust.

The People Who Don't Think Like This

I have friends who don't talk about food that way. They don't announce that they "shouldn't" eat another cookie or that they "can't have chips in the house." They just eat. Sometimes more, sometimes less. And then they move on.

It's not dramatic. It's not moral. It's just… normal.

I'll admit I used to feel jealous. How could someone not overthink it? How could they trust themselves like that?

Now that's what I'm practicing, trusting myself around food again.

Catching Myself in the Act

I still catch myself using those same old lines sometimes, talking about what I "should" or "shouldn't" eat. It's such a conditioned reflex.

But now, when I hear it (in myself or others), it makes me pause.
Why do we say that?
Where did we learn it?
And more importantly, how does it make us feel when we do?

Because if every bite comes with a side of guilt, are we really taking care of ourselves at all?

Just Something to Think About

I don't have all the answers, but I do know this: eating doesn't have to be earned; it just has to be allowed.

Food keeps us alive, fuels our energy, and connects us with people we love. We don't need permission for that.

So maybe next time you catch yourself saying you have to "earn" your food, just pause.
Ask yourself why.
And notice what shifts when you stop.